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THE ONENESS PROCESS IN FIJI
Testimonial I
"Finding the Oneness Movement (or did
it find me) has been an amazing adventure and the entire Fiji journey was an
"Over The Moon" experience, one of the best of my life! Since returning from
Fiji I have given more than 100 blessings to people and have gained so much
from it as well. Sometimes we all just sit there in an elevated state and no
one wants to leave....just amazing! My heart is opened and I am filled with
so much gratitude.
My darling 31 year "young" daughter has quite a
few special needs challenges including a major seizure disorder and legal
blindness. The regular weekly (and often more) Oneness Blessings she has had
since October have added so much to her life and she truly looks so forward
to receiving them. Less than 2 years ago she was in the Mass General
hospital for a 6 day 24 hour telemetry monitoring of her seizures which
showed she was at the point of having a seizure nearly every minute. (She
has had more than 200+ seizures a day for most of her life.) I am delighted
to report her seizures seem to have stopped and her neurologist has begun
decreasing her seizure medication!
She has always been quite happy but seems
so alive, joyful, more connected than ever and so grown up now. Over the
years she has gained some useful vision and now it seems to be better than
ever. In Fiji I carried her photo on my name badge and her in my
consciousness every minute. I had such amazing "electrical vibration"
experiences when receiving the Blessing from the Oneness Being, that I am sure a
major healing was done through the Grace of the Divine. Uttamaji reminded me
so much of my daughter. She moves her head and laughs for no reason and when
I ask her what she is thinking, she says "I am just so happy." She learned
to read by holding pictures and pages to her face and head, similar to what Uttamaji does when holding the photo of Sri AmmaBhagavan prior to giving us
Oneness Blessings.
It was all such an amazing experience for me, that my
life will never be the same. I can't wait to attend the California
conference in July and am hoping to be able to go to Level II in Fiji soon.
I am not sure what the Divine Presence has in mind for me but I am open and
ready to receive direction!
After the course I stayed at the Koro Sun
and spent time with the wonderful Fijian people both at the hotel and in
their village. I am working on something to create an opportunity for
prosperity in the village. If it's meant to be, then so be
it!"
S. from Massachussetts
Testimonial II
OK
Dasaji, I have given this some preliminary thought, in fact I spent a
semi-sleepless night thinking about your responses. What follows is the
most rigorous honesty I can deliver at this moment:
When
I first heard your call to service, several thoughts rushed to my
brain. My first thought was "Twenty-five people, I don't have time to
help, twenty-five people! I just barely have the time to attend two
meetings a week to give blessings and I can't do that consistently!!"
The
next thoughts were ones of fear-true fear. "I have to let twenty-five
people into my life!!! I have to let go of this carefully constructed,
wall that I have built to keep me from the pain of my relationships."
Now, I am not saying that this wall is effective, it is not. But the
illusion of the wall has given me a modicum of comfort. I am totally
paranoid about relationships. Even with all of your guidance, I still
fail miserably at relationships. I use my job to keep me away from
meaningful interactions with people. I have no time because I work all
of the time to avoid true relationships.
I
am unable to trust. I chose relationships that support this. I bring
out negative qualities and personalities in others because I am so
filled with them myself. These qualities are my focus. I am insecure
and never feel good enough regardless of who says I am. I am jealous
of the accomplishments of others. I hate to say it, but I feel
diminished by the accomplishments of my peers.
Underneath
it all, what I heard you say was that to grow with this movement, I
have to remove my fingers and toes from the moss covered footholds I
cling to on my wall. I have to deconstruct this barrier and create an
opening that will allow at least twenty-five people to pass. There is
great risk here. It means becoming real and vulnerable in a way that I
have tried to avoid for years. It means letting go of my protective
shield.
I
did not hear this call as going in an helping from afar. I heard this
call as going in and helping these people to truly grow. In some
ways, my job is about bringing knowledge to many, I try to reach out
and show gratitude to others in spite of my limitations, but I can do
this from behind the wall. I can drop the wall to give a blessing, but
I can restore it once I have completed that task. In some ways, being
a blessing giver strengthens the wall. I don't want you to
misunderstand that statement, I hope I did not say it badly.
Maintaining
Divine Grace is a struggle. I have been very vocal about the need for
some kind of follow-up after my Indian experience. I was in trouble by
the time I got to the airport. My inexorable decline was in evidence
after only a few weeks. I sent letters and made phone calls asking for
help, but I retreated to the wall.
It
is so easy in India to feel loved, to feel worthwhile, to feel like I
have value. It is easy to remember in those Indian moments that "I am
displaying this personality right now." Everyone I encountered at the
University in India was working to be more than they currently
perceived themselves to be. In an environment where everyone has the
same goal, it is easier to be better than you are...
Back
in my world, people seemed to be working to get ahead, to establish
some visible or tangible marker that, for them, defines progress. I
was naive and as you said absurd. I thought that I would return with a
portion of your light and share it. I also expected to see my world
differently. I failed on both counts. I missed something in India.
I
think I used the Temple opening events to run from growth. I think I
went, because I thought it would be bestowed upon me. I could give up
the struggle to achieve it. Of course I understand that there are
those who are more evolved and I understand that with continual
processing, we become better channels for the Divine. I don't think I
thought we were all alike. But I know we are all connected. It was
evidenced to me when the announcement was made from the stage that
something had gone awry at the opening. I felt it. I knew it was not
a simple matter.
I
am going to stop now, but I have to say this, I want to serve, I want
to help others, but I need the help of you, the Dasas and Sri AmmaBhagavan to do it. I want to help from the heart, but I am prone to
traps of the mind. I am arrogant and judgmental. I only experience
fleeting glimpses of love. To help others and be with them while I do
it is beyond me right now. I need your constant blessing to make my
way through the mire of mind. I submit this letter containing my thoughts to you with all that I can give in this moment.